Band-Aids

As of this moment, i might be a little bit dumbfounded by the day.  I had a training to attend all day, followed by my last evening class. I have zero space for anymore learning.  I have been worked over today, trying to absorb new materials and what new approaches i could take...whew!

There are so many things to say and so little time.  I want to write all about how education is changing, but I like my job, want to keep it, so perhaps it'll just be a good time to observe and see what happens.

Special thoughts go out to Ace and T on the loss of their fur baby, Charlie.  Charlie was an amazing dog, who living long enough to see them welcome their 2nd child into their family, guarded the family in tender, gentle ways, mostly the children, but i do remember that he was very protective of Ace when T would travel for work.  Charlie will be missed tremendously but his spirit will live on within the family. 

Surprise!

Alright, could there be any more surprises before I go to bed? I am truly hoping not, but I have this strong suspicion that I'm not really in charge...

Yesterday, I went over to the in-law's house to watch the football game. Mistakenly i thought a friend was there b/c her car was parked in front.  After setting down the appetizers, my MIL informed me that a friend was downstairs, with his new girl friend, so I need not to act shocked.  I am outstanding at failing to hide my emotions, they're just on my sleeve-there's no getting around it.  However, I think that I did a good job concealing some of my amazement, but I won't lie that I was totally taken aback.  Such as life.
Today at work I was surprised when my assistant announced she was leaving for the day.  Granted lots of people left early today, but she left work undone, which annoys me, but I'm not going to judge. BAWHAHAHAHA....of course I judged, not really judged, but sure said in my head "Are you KIDDING ME??? You didn't file the papers I have put in folder, labeled to be filed.  You haven't finished one project I gave you last week.  You really don't care about this job and I am frustrated with you!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Ah, I feel so much better now that I've said what I was thinking "out loud".  I will never say anything, seriously, because I'm unsure of how to approach her. Total chicken I am. I'm OK with that  :)
Tonight, my daughter, Peanut, totally surprised me in two different ways.  First, was she was watching "Super Why" and was able to verbally explain why the book characters were going into the story about Little Miss Muffet.  Perhaps it was because she had seen it before, or she's just that brilliant.  Yeah, probably the first of the two reasons  :)  Secondly, while watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas", Dear asked Son if he knew what Christmas was about, why we celebrated it.  Well, there was a small pause before he said huh? Thus, allowing for Peanut to state: ME!!!!!!!  I think Dear and I have done an outstanding job of making sure she has an excellent self-esteem.....we couldn't be prouder, really.....Heaven help me if she continues down this self-centered path. 
Finally, I'm totally surprised I'm still awake, but I had to watch the tri-build on American Chopper. I don't really like Jesse James very much after watching this installment. Perhaps though I should take note, as his ego is probably what Peanut's will resemble, so I'll need to be prepared for her to be opinionated.  Wait, hold the presses, she already is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Son, he's a little more subtle in his approaches, so I'm hoping he'll keep some self esteem......

In a not so surprising move, I'm going to close my eyes and hit the sack o'beans.  My bed misses me almost as much as I miss it....

Santa Ana Winds...

The Santa Ana winds that have caused so much destruction to the west coast of the United States, seem to have found their way into my weekends.  From the moment of eyes peeking out from behind the eye lids the momentum builds to a furious pace, usually culminating in a nuclear meltdown from someone! I truly believe there are 150 mph winds driving me through time. 

Yesterday we piled in the car to attend a 1st birthday party for a dear friend.  She lives about an hour and a half south of us, making the drive a little longer than a usual one, but not too bad. In my mind, i was going to be making this journey solo with the kiddos since Dear would know no one.  However, after a huge debacle on Friday night with the minion, he decided to come with us  :)  The party was lovely, such a wonderful way to celebrate!!!!  On the way home, to reward Dear, we stopped at the Bass Pro Shops (BPS).  I stayed in the car with Peanut who had crashed, while Dear and my Boy went inside for some shopping.  I'm not sure words can really summarize all of the fantastic people watching i did.  Holy Toledo, Folks...them rednecks get all gussied up to make the trek to BPS to see Santa!  Full on holiday dresses for the girls, church pants and shoes for the boys, while the parents are decked out in their camo or shorts, some even wore jeans  :)  Equivalent to the dressed up faction were those in straight up camo.....such contrasts in people, such fun for watching! Upon departing, we picked up pizza, ate, watched Tangled, then tucked everyone into bed!

Today, is going to be pretty darn similar to yesterday.  I've made my menu, corresponding list, so I'm prepared to face going to the grocery store.  It's also Sunday Funday with a football gathering at the in-law's house, but chores to finish here might dictate that 3/4 of the family goes there while I stay behind to accomplish the mundane tasks to prepare for the week.  I dislike sacrificing one activity for another, but my type A personality is having a hard time not being prepared for the upcoming week....have I mentioned the amount of dog hair covering my carpets?

So, as the push from the Santa Ana winds blow me through these days of activity, I hope that I find time to smell the roses as they flutter by my nose. 

Wake UP!

When my children rise from their beds...or on the off chance they are in our bed, there is never any doubt about who they are going to awaken.  Hence, I've been awake since 6:45 this morning.  I've never been good at waking up quickly.  The children on the other hand, rise and shine, make demands, request to be fed, want to be involved in everything that I'm doing to try and wake up.  Sipping my coffee slowly, without any interruptions doesn't ever happen.  I mean, Peanut has already played with the stamping set, eaten waffles,watched 2 of her favorite shows, and was irritated I wasn't paying attention to her just now.  Her decision?  Oh, to start hitting every single key and launching herself across my body to prevent me from typing.  Ahhhh, the joys of parenting.
Today we have a 1st birthday party to attend for 2 of the cutest twins ever!  Unfortunately, I have to create a gift yet because I wasn't organized last weekend.  I'm also unsure of what to get them. Any ideas? 
In my FB messages this morning though was the best gift ever.  My photographer posted the draft of the Christmas card. It might be the best card we've ever had the joy of sending out.  I'm excited to send them, which is highly unusual.  After hiring my photographer to take the pictures, I'll never be afraid again!!!! She's going to take them of my family for life.  Cross your fingers my children are more cooperative as they get older. 
Off to find my motivation and accomplish more things.....

Suddenly....

I believe this is how the week has occurred; like every sentence could contain the word "suddenly", beginning, middle or end.  For example, at 5 am, Peanut stumbled into my room, rather "suddenly" to inform me that she had peed her bed, so I needed to make her a new  one.  See how well suddenly fits right into the sentence? 

This morning, I shuffled downstairs to start the coffee, when I suddenly glanced toward the sink, with a sinking feeling, and found the dishes sitting there, waiting for me.  Imagine how I suddenly felt excited about completing the kitchen task this morning, even though I had cooked last night, but hey, it's all in a days work, right? 

Suddenly tonight, Dear's bat phone rang (aka his work cell), which just happened to coincide with serving dinner!  Between the change in the tone of his voice, the hand slamming into his forehead, and his eyes slamming on to the other side of his eye sockets, I figured it was not so good.  I'm such an astute observer, aren't i?  ;-)  I also had another clue it wasn't so good, he left is dinner sitting in front of him, allowing it to get cool.  That is SOOOOO out of character for him...then, as if we were on the same wave length, he suddenly rose from the table, his cold dinner finished, to go correct on of his minion's mistakes, leaving me to complete the evening. 

Suddenly I find myself finally being able to sit still, and it's already 10:30 EST!  Where has this day gone?  I'm suddenly in awe that I could have so much time pass in one day, kicking my fanny, only to leave me struggling to determine what exactly happened today....or did this all happen yesterday? Nah, I'm just that funny.....I know it all happened today.......

Edu-macation

Today, it was my weekly class on reading instruction, which I'm implementing in my classroom, as of, oh today!  :)  Never mind that I started it today, will start another group tomorrow, so after hedging over the last 8 weeks about starting 1 group, within 2 days, I'll have started 2 groups.  It's a really good thing that over the last 36 years, I have begun to incorporate some flexibility into my personality  ;-)  After teaching all day though, going to learn again is a weeeeee bit of a stretch!

The plus side to this edumacation every Tuesday night has been that Dear is responsible for fetching the children, providing dinner, and supposedly bathing them.  I've imagined coming home to meals cooked by Dear, as he's an amazing chef, the children happily in their beds after being bathed, thus relieving me of any responsibilities, at least 1 day per week.  Have I mentioned that he's almost on a first name basis with the employees at Five Guys?! 

How many people struggle with decisions about Christmas and how to share time  between families?  I have to make that phone call soon and it's weighing on my mind, like a cinderblock!

Comeuppance

I believe that my belief that my energy is never ending has finally bit me in the butt.  At this moment, I'm struggling to hold my eyes open, determined to watch the all new Pawn Stars at 9:30.  I have such high expectations for a Monday night...lol!

Another reason I'm still downstairs is that I refuse to go upstairs, where my darling daughter is still awake, talking to herself, or maybe a fly on the wall, who knows.  She probably wants to demand that I cuddle with her, in my bed, not hers...how silly of you to think she'd want to sleep there!  I love her, I should go cuddle with her, but she's a hot body, and I'm already hot, all by myself.  Did you follow that logic?  Unless you have lived with me, you might not understand that I earned the nick name "human furnace" b/c of how warm I always am.....so really, cuddling is a stretch for me.....I'm terrible, I know.

Well, my fortitude has almost collapsed, which means I'll be sweating by the time you read this b/c I'm cuddling with Peanut.  I'm not sure who you should pity....lol!

L
P.S.: I'm still totally ducking the Christmas decisions that have to be made. This does not surprise me, but maybe b/c I've told the world (all 3 of you that follow this), I'll makeup my mind and tell my parents my plan.................BAWHAHAHAHAHAH.........It's a good thing I can make you laugh.......

Happy Holidays!

Who would've thought that I could go from April until November without writing anything?!  It is not to say that I haven't had excitement in my life, but finding the time to write about has been elusive.  I think I should try and sum up what has happened in the last couple of months succinctly.....this should be funny!

Summer 2011

I enjoyed my summer immensely with both children.  I learned NEVER to leave Peanut unattended, figured out how to lock her out of the master bathroom, how to unlock bedroom doors, turn around door knobs on bathrooms, how to hide soap, and limit her access to climbing on counters.  After learning all of these things, I failed to prevent her from finding her way into other people's rooms at the beach.  Her fascination with all things cream, toothpaste and diaper wipes continued, leading to creative ways to keep her out of bedrooms...LOL!  We found a new park to occupy our time, which thrilled all of us!  We could easily spend 2 hours there, running, climbing and going in 2 different directions, without realizing there was just 1 mom!

Fall 2011

Dearest Son started school....kindergarten.....where have the last 5 years gone?  Little did I know that the transition from day care to kindergarten would be so challenging.  I tried to let his teacher know that the need to touch other people is genetic, he comes by it honestly, just don't touch him back, yet another fine trait! However, with his peers, not such a great choice.  I received his first interim and almost fell over in shock!  I mean, it basically said my son couldn't pay attention for more than 2 seconds, couldn't work independently, and was struggling....MY ANGEL?  REALLY??!!!???  Okay, so I wasn't that shocked; I do live with the boy!  He does have me for a mother, which sums up quite a bit.  Good thing Dear's genes are mixed in there too, helping to balance out some of the genetic predispositions to loonieness....The fall conference was great!  He's grown up so much since the start of school and is making great progress. It won't be long before he's smarter than his parents. Oh, wait, I think he already is!
Peanut returned to daycare, MUCH to her chagrin.  The transition was terrible. She is so well versed in hiding her feelings, that it was often difficult for the daycare teachers to know how she felt. Actually, in case you missed that large boulder of sarcasm, she continues to let anyone and everyone know how she feels about going to school, when she expects to be picked up and what should happen after she is picked up.  Nuclear meltdowns continue to be a hallmark of the days, often prompted by the boldness of me to tell her no.  Any number of opportunities present themselves for this reply during our routines, and no matter how much I say it..............I often get the same result.......<sigh!> It's a darn good thing she's cute.
I've returned to my day job of teaching other people's children, with flair and intelligence.  Okay, maybe just the flair part of that sentence. It's a daily struggle to go to work, try and raise my own children, teach the students in my school the same manners I'm imparting to my biological, be a good wife (hahahahahaha) and keep up with life.  Thank God for family and friends who offer great supports!
Can't wait to update again soon....the saga of making a Christmas decision is on the horizon............

Spring Break!

Ahhh, spring break is upon me!  I've taken the children to school the last three days, as I've been advised to do numerous years before, but never really listened to anyone.  This has been a very relaxing 3 days.  I get to read, watch t.v., do laundry, or just do nothing if I feel like it!  It has given me a moment to breathe.  I've had a moment to catch up on things.  I've had some time to reflect on life.  Actually, I probably shouldn't be allowed to have this much time to myself because I start thinking  ;-)

After a slight nervous breakdown on Sunday night, I've been attempting to comprehend why things happen for a reason.  In the middle of my snot and tears, I couldn't really understand why communication with people is so much harder than I imagined, or when someone feels frustrated with me, there isn't the direct conversation that I would expect there to be.  I've made some mistakes in the last month or so, leading to decreased communication between my family and me.  It's not that I was intentionally ignoring, it's just that, work sucks, I try, try, try, to stay on top of everything, but sometimes there are things that slip through the cracks.  Me responding about mother's day was one of them.  Did I realize this was sucha  big deal?  Did anyone attempt to say, "Hey!  Get your head out of your ass and communicate!"....no, I believe they were all waiting for me to do that....however, it didn't happen....leading to anger b/c I then sent out an evite for Blue Eyes' birthday party in May, to be held for logicstical reasons at my in-laws, no repsonse from my parents, and no communication about Easter.  So, I'm tried of being the adult, but my Dear told me it's not okay to act like a 2 year old, we already have Peanut to fill that position  :-)  I reached out, during a time when I knew the conversation had to be short, and got pretty much what I was expecting:  a guessing game on the phone with my mother as to why she was angry, illiciting terse responses from her.  I have not called her back, nor do I intend to until the 2 of May unless I hear from them before that. 

Being a wife, mother, teacher, friend, and chef leads to so many difficult decisions for how to balance everything.  I drop the kids off in the morning, around 7:30 at daycare.  I report to work, case manage 16 students, and their parents, while trying to maintain relationships with friends and family via email.  At 3:30, I leave to pick up my darlings, come home, shuffle in the door, snacks, dinner prep, outside time if it's nice, try not to leave the children unattended outside while I chop, sautee, defrost, what have you.  Don't get me wrong, there are days when it's rip open the box of lasagna and throw it in the oven.  Never the less, diner is served between 6 and 7, so that we can all eat together (which isn't really happening these days), before baths at about 7:30 - 7:45....bedtime stories, and finally, about 9 pm, the house is quiet.  That leaves Dear and I a few hot minutes to chat, watch t.v., and catch up on anything we haven't thought to say over dinner.  I tell you what, it leaves little to the imagination as to how I seem to let somethings fall through the cracks. 

I think the part that is the hardest is knowing that there isn't a way to convey this to anyone without sounding like I'm whining, or seeking some kind of pity.  I'm not excusing myself, just seeking to explain what I do on a daily basis, the lengths to which I'll work to try and communicate, but I often rely on others to frequently reach out....I'm lazy...what can i say. 

Now, onto the rest of my day.  I've looked at the calendar and realized that  a certain furry rabbit should be arriving on Sunday, for which I'm a WEEEEE bit unprepared....so off to fix that!

Cheers!

Communication with Aliens

As my darling Dear tries to convince me that I'm reading too much into a conversation with my parents, my brain is screaming not so much and I shot him a look to convey this.  I informed him that he was incorrect, that HEARD my mother's voice on the phone, not him, and I KNOW exactly what I heard from her, in the sighs, the tone, the short answers, the looking for an excuse not to attend the birthday party for Blue Eyes b/c it's at the in laws.  REALLY!? I've thought long and hard about calling them for the above mentioned reasons.  Guilt can be tranfered via phone lines I've decided, and this was one time when I was okay avoiding them.  I had survived just fine dealing with my own nonsense, without hearing crap from them!!!!!!!!!!!  Talking to them is like trying to determine if there are aliens that live on Mars...you could almost swear there are voices out there, I mean, didn't we all see ET?  Precisely...I believe those were my parents. 

I've given back what I knew was mine, and I know that I can't please all the people all of the time BUT........you know what I'm thinking...........

The end of Time....

I realized that I've not written down anything that has happened in the last week or so....I"m going to attempt to summarize:

      1. I got to meet my nephew!!!!
      2. I attempted to bake for my brother and sister in law, attempting to not overflow their small freezer space that had been filled by generous friends and family in the days prior to my visit.  there will be other visits and other times to bring food. 
     3.  I have learned that sweating from my eyebrows is my least favorite weird trait.  It annoys me very, very much and makes me feel like I'm a whackadoodle. 
     4.  There are only 6 more days until Spring Break, which can't come soon enough because I can't take working anymore right now.  The drama, the ridiculousness of people who claim to be adults is AWFUL! 
     5.  My medication journey is a rather lengthy road, with potholes of astronomical proportions.  I had to admit this morning that I felt like I could jump off a cliff without regret, sob in a corner until I found the cliff from which to jump, or just walk around aimlessly while awaiting the return call from the apothecary.  Did I hear the phone vibrate at 2:55 when she called....I believe that you already know the answer to that  :)
    6.  My oldest, Big Blue Eyes, is walking the fine line between tolerable and annoying.  I love him, I do, but right now, I don't like him at bedtime.  He's pushing buttons, limits, eardrums, and my sanity to the edge.  The whining, remembering everything that I have or haven't done for him; informing Dear that he is NOT the one to tuck him into bed or calm his fears; dancing around his room like a feather on the wind....any of it is enough to drive me batty.
    7.  I'm still watching AI courtesy of the dvr in our house b/c I can't seem to sit down at 8 pm, like other normal people b/c my family is crazy.  Thank God for the invention of the dvr, truly.  I might never watch TV if it weren't for this lovely invention.
    8.  Sleep tight and tomorrow will be lovely, right?  Work with me here, people.....it will.......

Walk a mile in my shoes......

Apparently, if you do, you might just find that life is passing you by, but hey, who am I to say that it's a bad thing?  Oh, it only sucks when I can't believe my children are growing up SO fast, with plenty of potholes in the road.  Let me tell you what, the amount of whining and nonsense that has occurred in this house lately, might be enough to drive a sane woman crazy.  I don't have to worry about that because I'm already certifiable  :-)

Since I last wrote, I've become an aunt for the fifth time in total, but the first time on my side of the family.  My youngest brother and his wife welcomed their first child this week.  What a cutie-patootie he is!  Aside from my own biases, he is that darn cute.  Thus, since his arrival, it has saved me from being the focus of my parent's attention.  YIPPEE!  However, being that they never miss an opportunity to take a situation that is about someone else and redirect the focus to them, I KNEW things were going to smoothly in the first 24 hours of the baby's arrival.  Sure enough, my youngest brother texted/called/texted...you get the pattern....When we finally connected I had the pleasure of removing the responsibility of the issues that my parents were attempting to give to him, for being "slighted" b/c my sister-in-law's parents were still here.  REALLY?! I mean, if I had an angry crotch question, c-section scar healing issue, or just any kind of question about being a new mom, I'd for sure call my mother in law first.....yup, that's what I thought...as much as I'd hate to admit it, I  might consider calling my mom if no one else was left on the planet. I believe she has the right to ask HER mother to stay, w/o having our parents inform a sleep-deprived new father that he sucks at including them.....Of course, that meant I also had to tell my brother the deepest, darkest, worstest news ever....I had actually started this argument with them 4 years ago.  WHOOPS!  Did I forget to mention that I'm like a pioneer, following a new trail through the f'ing wilderness, attempting to get a little closer to the middle of normal?  Now that you know that, I'll continue with my story....4 years ago I informed our mother, that for the sake of my marriage and sanity (not quite that bluntly, but I'm sure she'd tell you different), I didn't want her to move in with me for 2 weeks after the birth of my first child.  As expected, my boundary drawing when over like, someone running into a jersey wall...I held my ground and said that Dear and I needed to figure this out on our own.  Never in a million years did I expect either of our parents to hold that grudge, then try and give my youngest brother and his wife all this left over anger.  Super  healthy and very normal, right?  I know, I know, I'm hilarious at presenting the thought that our parents would be normal....BAWHAHAHAHA!

Aside from revealing the secret to my youngest brother, life continues on down the road of lunacy.  I've had to try and convince Blue Eyes that although an illustrator can't make the picture match the proper sequence of the story, doesn't mean I can't read it to you....without starting over 3 times!  Meanwhile, Peanut has been showing her spirited side, throwing things, growling at Dear and me....when I asked her today what was wrong, did she not feel the love today, she replied, "NOPE!"  It's a darn good thing they're both cute.

Until next time....

Cheers!

Nuclear Meltdown.......

In my house, so as much as I'd like to say that I'm aware of what's occurring in Japan, it's not really on the forefront of my brain.  However, if you are Big Blue Eyes and Peanut, the amount of "nuclear meltdowns" being had, might eclipse the damage done by the tsunami in Japan.  I'm NOT making light of the damage or amount of lives lost, just relating to my own life  ;-)

After visiting the apothecary today, it was decided that I would add something to the daily regimen to hopefully even me back out.  So, being the anxiety ridden woman that I am, I drove straight to pick up the children and didn't drop it off as I began to consider mixing it up.  It's always so calming when I think about adding to the dosing.  Keep your fingers crossed that I've got it in me to make it through everything, and that I slow down enough to quite losing my temper.....

On the flip side, I've become obsessed with The Pioneer Woman and her website.  She has a photo montage of "Beauty" put together into 3 different groups thus far.  May you look through them and see the variety of beautiful pictures.....http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/

Cheers!

DLST

In the land ruled by man, there has been a theory of moving the clocks forward in the spring, to make the evenings longer, and back in the fall, for an earlier rise.  I'd like to pose this: how about the clocks just keep ticking, without manipulation from men who think they know everything?  We can just maintain EST, making life ALLLLLL that much easier.  I write this as I listen to my son plucking his support bar on his bunk bed like a ukulele and it's 9:32.  He should have already fallen asleep, but OOOOHHHH NOOOOOO, the clocks just had to move forward, and we lost that hour, so in his mind, he's going to bed SOOOO much earlier....leaving me to use toothpicks to hold open my eyelids, waiting for him to give into his exhaustion.  Can you just feel the patience exuding from my soul?

On the flip side, before the damn clocks were moved, I celebrated my sister's birthday and mine last week.  Dear did an amazing job surprising me with flowers at work, a dinner with ZERO clean up required, and all the gifts on my wish list.  The piece de resistance.....the children sang to me, with a surprise birthday cake...my heart truly melted at that moment.  I liked my children a lot on that day.....they were kind, generous and their whining was kept to a miraculous minimum, like God knew he needed to help them help me  ;-) 

I'm just about thisclose to surrenduring to the call of my bed.  I've come to realize it misses me quite a lot when I'm not there. 

Cheers!

Whew!

I finally took a little me time today, just for about an hour , but it was so worth it!  I came home, whipped up a pan seared pork loin, cranberry red wine reduction, mashed potatoes, and fresh salad!  Neither of my children wanted to eat it, other than the warmed up canned green beans.  Deelish, right? 

I asked Dear to stay home with Blue Eyes today to make sure he was 100% healed.  They had a blast hanging out together, while Peanut was at school, causing troubles there  :-)  I'm done with going to work.  Tomorrow is the writing SOL, part I. 

Cheers!

Makin' Whoopie.....

Pies  :-)  I decided to try and make them today, since Cooper was STILL sick and i was wanting to try something different....So, I did it.  I made them!  I feel so accomplished.  I mean, I'm sure that there are harder things to bake, but I'm trying to please Dear, who is not as in LOOOOOOVE with chocolate like I am.  These seem to strike the balance.  Deeelish.

The rest of the weekend has not been quite so balanced.  The Blue Eyed Boy, my oldest, is still sick!  Today I focused on following the infamous BRAT diet, and until Dear came home with McDonald's, he'd done an excellent job eating the rice and applesauce.  Somehow, though, the wafting scent of those crispy, salty, greasy french fries walked through the door and that was it!  The bribery of 3 bites of applesauce or rice for 5 french fries....Keep your fingers crossed we make it through the night.......

Undercover Boss is on and I seem to be watching it more than I'm typing.  Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, and pray for no puking!

Treading Water

I think that is what I've done best this week.  2 children who have chosen to puke just days apart, but not together is damn annoying.  I believe the best part was when I had figured it all out so I could go to work, so could Dear, and -BOOM-the oldest puked after he'd left with the youngest, and when I thought I could run to work right quick with the oldest, my car battery was done, cooked, kablooey.  I took the hint and stayed home with him.  I maybe dense at times, but when the signs are this obvious, I can pay attention.

Mind you, this all started on Sunday morning of last weekend.  The youngest woke up puking, then asking for milk.  Okay, not so much, but her older brother was insistent that I give her what she wanted.  So, he clarified that she wanted milk, and relayed to me that I was to get it pronto.  I'm the boss, I calmly reminded him, and said she would be having ginger ale, NOT milk.  He wanted to continue to argue...um, I declared myself dictator, showed him who was boss, and moved on with my day.  Of course, since at 4 and a half he thinks he's dictator, the day was filled with challenges to the system, but I did prevail!  :-) 

As I type, I'm observing them eat their breakfast, after the oldest puked up his spaghetti dinner at 3 am.  Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to try and get tomato sauce out of carpet?  Not to mention that it was 3 am, and he kept bossing us, Dear and I, around to turn off the bathroom light.  I tried, in my nicest voice possible, to tell him to clamp it and we couldn't clean up if we couldn't SEE!  It was visions of sleeping in that rocked me back to sleep....Unfortunately this was not to be, and at 6:45, it was party central in my bed! 

The shower calls, the washing machine is bored and I must proceed to start something before Dear gets bossier  ;-) 

Cheers!

Evolution

I thought this title to be fitting based on the last couple of days.  I confronted the backstabber yesterday, calmly and with grace.  In a not so shocking explination, she had excuses for everything I said or asked.  I don't understand how someone can flip flop roles after maternity leave and not work collaboratively, which is something she used to complain about before being off for a year. 

My darling mother called last night to tell me that my great uncle had died.  This is ironic only b/c we had just found him again living in nursing home in Victoria, B.C.  He was suffering from severe dementia, so although we had located where he was living, there wasn't any contact made as it would've been only to sooth the anxiety of his relatives.  I burst out in tears nonetheless because I was upset that he died alone, not knowing his family had really located him.  After talking to my aunt, she said she had mailed him a box of toffee, a gift sent by her annually for a Christmas gift, hoping he would enjoy it and know that he was loved, especially since she signed it from the entire family.  I truly hope he is at peace and watching over all of us as one of God's Angels....

Just about 15 minutes ago, I took my youngest upstairs to tuck her in for a nap.  As the youngest, we haven't been as prompt moving her from the crib to a big girl bed.  She has demonstrated that she can climb out of her crib, but usually stays in her room, creating a palette on her floor and sleeping there.  Today, she took it a step forward, coming downstairs, claiming she didn't want to take a nap.  She's growing up so fast.  She is back upstairs, in her room, but I hear way to much noise for her to be napping.  I guess it'll be a bed purchase sooner rather than later.

So, it is that time brings about change, good, bad and indifferent.  It is through these changes that I continue to learn, be surprised, and know that others are growing too. 

Cheers!

10,000 Wishes

What matters most in life is family, friends and those who support you the most...it is my greatest wish that I'll always have a strong support system and surrounded by love.  After today, I am still floored when my faith in humanity is challenged.  If I really stopped, I'd probably break down and sob, but there is no time for that.  The years that I've spent in therapy have attempted to help me know how boundaries and appropriate tone of voice will increase positive communication.  As far as the facial expressions and other non-verbals, I've tried to keep those in check, but not so much...LOL!  I instead choose to go for the straight forward and honest approach, with tact and a little bit of grace.  To bitches who can't f'ing come close to this, find someone else to be your doormat, and QUIT stabbing me in the back. I've been through worse, I've survived easier situations, but in the end, my truth is plain and simple....and I know it comes through in my honesty and the true friends I have. I plan to continue to my journey to becoming a healthier person, which given my genetic heritage is going to be a constant struggle, and maintain peace in my life.  I will succeed no matter what because what goes around comes around, even if I'm not there to see the comeback.  Much to my chagrin in many cases........I'd like to possibly cause the comeback, the downfall, the crashing into reality, anything, but it's not my place.  So know that I'll perservere, survive, and you'll end up struggling, just when you thought you had it all.   

What a difference a day makes....

After enduring one of the worst nuclear meltdowns from both of my children yesterday, waking up to Cooper peeing ON TOP of the toilet this morning, saturating, oh the floor and bathmats, I knew it could only get better!  Although, I'd be remiss if I didn't remember to tell you the funny from Cooper last night. 

In the midst of the ever evolving meltdown that was yesterday evening, Cooper was grasping at straws for what to cry over.  He'd soaked me in anger after I made him take a shower, so I was left sitting on the floor of my bedroom trying to rationalize with him.  I was attempting to get him to put on pajamas....but in his mind, he wanted to know where I came from.  To answer that might have required me telling him how crazy my parents are, but I simply replied from Grammy and Granddaddy....When he burst into tears AGAIN, I was clueless.  He lunged forward, arms open, and said, "I missed you, Mommy, when you were in Grammy's tummy!!!"  Dave burst into laughter, to which Cooper was clueless, and tried not to laugh in his face by telling him that I hadn't even thought about having him when I was in her tummy............. Out of the mouths of babes, I tell you!

Today after peeing on top of the toilet, and attempting to sponge it up with a measly 6 squares of tp, I knew it was going to get better, right?  In some ways, yes, it was so much better.  The sun shone with all its might, warming everything, make my mood brighter.  A little drama at the end of the work day could've ruined it, but I wanted to make sure that the kiddos had a great afternoon with a mama in a good mood.  We stopped by a friend's house, so I got to chat with an adult and the kids played, with a few bumps, but overall, awesome.  I made a creamy chicken and wild rice soup for dinner, for Dear and me, but grilled cheese and tomato soup for them.  Harketh, the starving came to the table and ate!  It was great to see them enjoy their dinner, as well as Dear and me.  I'll make that soup again for sure!!!

Both are sleeping now, so I'm not much longer for this vertical position.  It's time for my eyes to search for light leaks behind my eyelids. 

Cheers!!!!

Listening Ears

I got to daycare to pick up Cooper today and his entire class was sitting on their carpet in silence.  I was told that the whole class was having "listening" problems.  What a shocker, in a room full of 16 4 - 5 year olds that they might get wound up and go bonkers? At the root of the problem for Cooper was that when one of his teachers asked him to use his listening ears, he replied no because he was ready to go home.  Alrighty then, I thought, not okay to say to a teacher, BUT, I can relate.  After apologizing to his teacher, he began promising to use his listening ears at school....think in this state of weakness I could also try for home?  That's a very funny, funny thought!!!

Meanwhile, I decided to compensate for not being there for Cooper by making a delicious dinner and dessert.  It was well worth the time spent in the kitchen, and my children and husband ate it!  That was like double bonus. 

Keeping my fingers crossed for a snow day tomorrow, or perhaps just a 2 hour delay.....

Cheers!!!

Ahhhh, the weekend

I've thought a lot about this weekend because I've been anticipating its arrival since it ended last Sunday  :)  I 've watched my children be angels and devils this week, which didn't fail to continue into yesterday and today.  For example, this morning Cooper wanted to play with a toy.  Payton was informed she needed to share, by Cooper, so he took it to demonstrate sharing.  Well, she wasn't so pleased with this directive, so she found a creative way to get him back.  Since he was playing with it on his lap, she proceeded to sit on top of the game which was on his lap.  She wouldn't move until she'd been properly asked, "Payton get off the toy, NOW, please.!"  I just stood in the kitchen and laughed.  How can I be mad at her for being creative? 

Patience

I believe that my patience for this week has run the *#*##% out!  It's the end of the kind of day I've dreamed of having since winter started, anticipating spring's arrival.  The kiddos and I were able to play outside with our favorite neighborhood friends, which really meant I got to flap my gums with an adult, someone other than my husband!  to tell you the truth, I believe I had more fun than the children.  Playdates are sometimes like that, more for the parents than the children.  Sometimes it's a bonus if the children are compatible, b/c my sanity is more important. 

Now, that things are summarized, I'm about to beat someone.  Not literally, but give me a wet noodle, and I'll whip them GOOD!  My husband has a hard time keeping his patience with the children; I find myself playing mediator, keeping the peace.  Inbetween all of this, I'm also cooking dinner, picking up fing toys, trying to make sure no one irritates Dear that he loses his temper, and clean up the kitchen.  Perhaps I've created this monster myself, but really, I don't think it's ALL my fault. Our son has always liked having me read him stories, and Dear never really purused changing this pattern because it meant he got to relax while I read to him.  If he tried, our son would throw fits, whine, and carry on and on and on...catch my drift?  Well, now it's 2 and a half years later, and I'm stuck with reading to him, while Dear gets the easy one!!!!  Then, I get the whining, clinging, bitching, and so forth when he's over tired and blah, blah, blahy.   It's rather cyclical and I don't know how I can change the cycle....Perhaps it's time to visit a funny farm? 

I really miss having a hot minute to myself.  I miss reading.  I miss doing things without being hunted by my children.  I miss hanging out with my Dear. 

Bitter, Party of 1 signing out.............ps: I really do love being a mom, but it's just one of those days...

One more ????

If you had to define a hero or an inspiration how would you explain them as being alike or different? 

Lessons Learned

Today was about learning lessons through indirect teachings.  I was talking to my husband over dinner and he asked if I had heard about the story about the teacher from Pennsylvania who was suspended because of the content of her blog.  I grimaced, knowing that in my moments of frustration I can spout off at the mouth, seeking an outlet, without considering the repercussions.  So, I decided to come and review any writings, and low and behold, I find that my youngest brother has left a comment here....about the teacher from PA.  Hmmm, perhaps a sign?  I might be the a little dense, but I can take a hint.....So here's to festive, fun reading and entertaining stories....

Every person has their own aura right?  Well, I believe this, and I believe that everyone has their own magnetic field....mine is draining things around me.  When I turn lights on at home, light bulbs keep burning out, and last night i left my care on accessory, listening to music in a parking lot, when, you guessed it, my battery died!  I feel drained from so much happening in life, it's funny how it's reflected in my external energy.  I need to find a refueling station somewhere.  Perhaps outer space has flights so that I can visit the milky way and find some quiet.

I think I'm still stuck on where the first amendment begins and ends, how blogs and so forth can be an expression of my day, thoughts, fears, loves, and so forth.  Why if someone has a blog does she get suspended for comments?  I read some of them, and well, they are a little below the belt, but they aren't within the context of the sentences of her story, so really, does it convey their true meaning?  I dont' think so, and if it was her blog, can't she have an area to vent and be creative? 

I see time has slipped away from me and it's almost time for sleeping.  I look forward to writing more tomorrow, and any comments you have about Pennsylvania....

Saint Valentine

Late in the evening of the best Hallmark holiday EVER created, the smell of fresh sugar cookies is wafting through the house, my feet are up, I'm arguing with my son who's on the stairs, and pretending that he isn't talking to me since he SHOULD be in bed.  My imagination fails to find humor in this moment, as I'd really like to just be alone with my Dear. 


I did recover enough to swing by the grocery store to pick up some items to make dinner tonight to show my <3 for my family.  Although the sauce wasn't perfect, the tast was spot on, even my kids ate it!  It was such a relief. 

I hope you've enjoyed your day with all the loves in your life and know to tell them every day that you love them, no matter what Hallmark says  :-)

Monday Blues on Sunday

If anyone has ever had anxiety, then you can totally agree with what I'm about to write.  My joy in returning to work is largely overshadowed by my anxiety about returning to that place.  I've had so little support this year, with leadership that doesn't support, guide or inspire, I've sought to find support in my peers.  I also don't even want to go to work, because there isn't any reward for showing up.  I've taken to baking rewards, from another blog I follow www.annies-eats.com, which pains my checkbook and my husband who finds the numbers in our account to be dwindling.  However, under this amount of stress and lack of support, I had to find something that was positive!!! 

The feeling that I might crawl out of my skin does not bode well for interacting with my family. The noise is amplified, the children (all 7 of them) are just bananas, and I'm just holding on to the edge of a cliff, hoping not to lose my marbles.  It makes for excellent times  :-)  I need to remember how awesome my weekend as been, visiting my brother and sister in law on Saturday, the park today, and family dinner with the in laws tonight.  See, life is great, just not work !

Ahhh, the family bed.....

Try as I might, I cannot seem to understand the fascination of sleeping in our bed versus their own.  I get that we have kickin' flannel sheets, but that's about it.....I like to move in my sleep, as does my husband, so WHY do they think it's comfortable to squish in between us?  Never mind their penchant for digging their feet under us, which leads to near death experiences for the children, as we aren't always wide awake when their assault begins  :-) 
After such a restful night's sleep, I'm pleased to say I'm up and at 'em, the washing machine is off balance, and I'm still sitting here typing....where is my focus today?  Apparently, not on the rather deafening noise from the basement. 

In the beginning.....

there came to be a blog, suggested by many, to document my attempts to parent, succeed at being a good wife, and deal with the outside stresses of life.  The title is how I view my life, as I sometimes think my family puts the "fun" in dysfunctional.  they drive me bananas, support me at the most inconvenient times, and provide a great source from which to grow.  If I didn't take the time to pioneer through my growth, I'd sincerely doubt I'd have become wife and/or mother.  So, cheers, to starting this and hoping that you find humor along with in my everyday life  :-)